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Bilbo Baggins Accused of Plagiarism

Bilbo Baggins

This originally ran on Reel News Network. I'm reposting here as personal use for my blog/portfolio.

Shocking reports of plagiarism have surfaced in Middle Earth as Gandalf the White, previously known as Gandalf the Grey, accused former friend and colleague Bilbo Baggins of stealing his life’s work and passing it off as his own.

Baggins, Shire resident and known shut-in, recently published an extensive memoir documenting several years of purported adventures. The novel, titled There and Back Again, received critical acclaim and became an overnight bestseller.

In lieu of factual evidence, Gandalf insists that Baggins never once left the Shire and rarely ventured out of the comfort of his Hobbit-hole. The wizard says he would spend hours in the Hobbit’s cramped dwelling recounting his past adventures to Baggins in an attempt to keep him company.

“I guess you could say I was worried about him always being by his lonesome, but really I just liked to brag,” Gandalf said. “It made me feel great to say ‘Yeah, I looted a dragon’s cave, no biggie,’ and watch his reaction.”

Gandalf estimates that 95% of Baggins’ book was copied verbatim from his stories. A cursory investigation discovered that Baggins began writing shortly after rumors of the wizard’s death began to circulate.

“Bilbo jumped on the opportunity to profit on a dead man’s words,” Gandalf said, “but he took too long to finish and now I’m alive again. I probably would have done the same.”

Baggins dismissed the allegations as “frivolous” and asserts the general accuracy of his work. He explained that any discrepancies were minor and the result of his artistic license.

“It would be a fallacy to say that I absolutely never exaggerated even in the slightest bit while telling my tale,” Baggins tells RNN. “Of course I did! What, do you think I wrote everything down as it happened?”

“Gandalf is just jealous. He can’t even use magic,” he added.

This isn’t the first lawsuit sparked by There and Back Again; earlier this year, a rogue band of Orcs filed a defamation claim stating that Baggins’ gross misrepresentation of their character severely affected their quality of life. The lawsuit was eventually dropped after several of the Orcs mysteriously died.

Baggins released an official statement Monday saying he wasn’t worried about “haters” and suggesting that his fans know the truth. He is currently drafting a sequel called “Again and Again” in which he details his solo trip to Mt. Doom to destroy the One Ring. The novel is anticipated to be on shelves within the next several decades.

Originally published on Reel News Network.

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